If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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