Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
