how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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