Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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