Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
