I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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