This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
