You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
