its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
