Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
