I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
