how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
and you fell through a lawn chair
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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