just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
