she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
