From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
