Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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