So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
