Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
