at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Ladies don't puke and tell
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
