Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
