The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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