Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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