Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
