I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
