so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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