In America we eat man semen.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
