Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Someone shit on the floor
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
