OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Tell her she can't have a vagina
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
