is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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