there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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