It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The air taste purple.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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