I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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