There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
