he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Quick, to the slutcave!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
