I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
