i just google imaged poop.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
