He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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