You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
