There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
