So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
this will be a night to untag.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
