My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
