I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
