I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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