I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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