Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
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