16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My feet surprised me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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