it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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