Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
