No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My feet surprised me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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