wakey wakey hands off snakey
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
